by Greg Koelker
For the last decade or so, I have been writing a graduation speech draft for high school and college grads that I was never asked to give. The first one proved popular, so ever a servant to my fans, I continue the tradition this year for both of you. Here is my graduation speech redux from ten years ago:
Grouse Hollow Journal for May 2016 by Greg Koelker
This week starts the annual graduation party-arama. I love the parties and the food – can you say lemon bars with no limit? Actually, it is more about seeing so many people we haven’t seen in awhile and honoring the graduates. From the “For What It’s Worth Department” and maybe a bit from the “I Need Something Other Than Another Turkey Hunting Column To Write About Department,” I’d like to put in my two bucks worth on this kickoff of the next chapter of life for so many young people.
I have been asked a few times to be a high school graduation speaker and I said no to all but one request.The one time I said yes, was because of a class full of special kids to me; however when the dust settled, I didn’t have enough super delegates to win the nomination, uh, that is the class voted for one of their mothers to speak. She did a great job too, with a speech that was inspiring, humorous and most importantly, short. Anyway, now that I have reached that “Will ya still need me, will ya still feed me” stage of life, I’ll test the waters with a paragraph or two of my thoughts to share. So here goes:
To the graduates of 2016, these are the true facts of life: life is always fantastic, life is always fulfilling, life always makes us happy, you can do anything you set your mind to, you must always follow your dream or passion, money comes easily, everyone you meet will be thrilled with you and vice versa, pizzas are really good for you, instant replay isn’t, life is always fair, uh, okay, maybe sometimes, but not always on all accounts. No joke here, life can get out of your control sometimes: illnesses, bills, accidents, and jobs for example. Unless you can develop an App that you can sell for millions, you will have to find work to live the dream. I also know that most people have worked a lot of jobs in their lives. Ask your parents and grandparents and I think you will be amazed at what they have made a living at during all the many stages of their lives. As for me, well for a guy who never really liked work and would prefer reading a book, singing a song, wetting a line, going to the sandbar, or even working on the many cars I abused, I have had a few jobs before I finally found my calling: I helped on the farm, bagged groceries, mowed lawns, delivered papers, bussed tables, waited tables, tended bar (I found out that bussing tables was better than bartending or waiting tables because you get off earlier on Saturday night and mostly nobody notices you unless you dump a tray full of dishes and your feet don’t hurt that much); I pumped gas, changed tires and oil, helped lay down rubber roofing for Texas Refinery Corporation, was a summer custodian at a high school and then a grade school. I was the blacksmith/stable docent one summer at Stonefield Village (I actually put shoes on a workhorse); I was an art director and had a bar sign and banner business; I was an television art director and studio news director at noon, six, and ten. I produced or assisted on hundreds of TV commercials in thirteen years on the job; I was a television production manager and an announcer; I was a wedding photographer and a display manager. I judged forensics, talent contests, and debate; I was a baseball and speech coach and language teacher; behind all that or on top of it or whatever, I made music through the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s, playing guitar, trumpet, harmonica, and bass with The Livin’ End, Arnie Junk and Dairyland Ramblers, The Before and After Band, The Mississippi Mud Band, The GMC, The Mark Four, The Buffalo County Band, The Just Friends Band, and Shake, Rattle, and Roll often 7 nights a week. I hated some jobs like display manager and roofing. I loved being the blacksmith/stable docent at Stonefield Village and a custodian at my alma mater as well as making music and doing art work and coaching.
Still, I didn’t find my passion/profession until I was 38. All along the way, l learned a lot of useful or at least semi-useful skills and stuff that carried over into every subsequent job and part of my life; I had a lot of fun at work, and I met many, many people. That’s the best thing ever; at every job I had whether I liked it or not, I met wonderful people and an occasional dud and even a jerk or two, but mostly I met great people; I hope they felt that way about me. So what? Well, the “so what?” is mostly that life comes down to decisions.
You decide whether to work all your life at a job because it pays okay and you need the money but you really don’t like it – if it lasts, or maybe because you aren’t confident that you can make it in whatever career you think you’d like; I feared I wouldn’t be a good teacher and given the chance, some of my former students may attest to that I suppose. You decide whether to hate going to work every day because you think what you do is pointless or boring but you need to make a buck or you decide that the work you do doesn’t feel like work because you enjoy doing whatever it is. I guarantee this decision makes a heckuva difference in the better part of a century you get to spend here on planet Earth.
I often tell people that the best decision I ever made in my life – besides asking my wife to marry me and having kids – was deciding to become a teacher. I didn’t realize how profound that was until it happened. My family is great and so is what I did and do mostly, but also I almost never hated going to work when I was teaching. I still don’t mind going in to be a substitute teacher. I used to say to kids when they were bugging me, “I hate kids!” I don’t think they really believed that.
Find a way to enjoy your job when you can. If you can’t, find something else. If you always wanted to do something else, do it. Work is good. Money is good. But remember, we work to live – not the other way around. Do what you enjoy, not just what you have to for the money.
Another big decision you get to make, be open to people, all people. Reject someone at your peril; UNLESS you realize they are harmful to you physically or mentally, all people have worth and you may miss out.
Never stop learning – a cliche’ sure, but it’s true: read a book or two or twenty that cover the historical time of your life to learn what was really going on while you were ignoring what was going on around you except for the dating, sports, music and Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter, map out a trip across country and take it, try cooking something besides Ramen Noodles for a change, learn to fly an airplane, make a movie, draw or paint or carve something, sew or crochet or knit, maybe learn another language or take up photography or the guitar, or even write a short story or book or illustrate one.
Let people help you when you need it. It is good for you and it is good for them. When your mom or dad or aunt or grandma wants to send that leftover roast turkey or casserole home with you on Sunday night, take it. You have lunch for a few days and she or he will feel good about helping you.
Think before speaking in anger – believe me. I know about this one first hand and from both sides.
Forgive.
Learn the issues, think, and then go vote – always – or don’t complain about the results.
Share what you know with others. Volunteer.
Visit your grandparents; they leave us too soon and have a lot to offer. That said, listen to old people – I mean really listen mindfully, you’ll understand why after you do – if you think. And graduates, call your mom or dad or both – and often, nuf said.
Until next time, get out – at 64, I know that those years vaporize into memories too fast, and that to be angry or unhappy and closed to others for that LIMITED life is a waste when you can decide otherwise. So 2016 grads, don’t worry, be happy or not; the good news and the bad news is that you get to make the call. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, and don’t call my mom; I’ll do that myself. That’ll be two bucks, please.
Enjoy.
Epilogue 2026:
(The “don’t call my mom” and “two bucks please” and “I hate kids”, were things I did say often to my De Soto students. Some lead with that whenever I run into them. I still have the I Hate Kids hat my Forensics team had made for me. I think they knew I didn’t hate kids. I wish I could still call my mom and dad.)
I have found that the saying the more things change, the more they stay the same is absolutely on point. During the last two decades or so, you grads have lived with wars in the middle east and Africa and Europe; I grew up with wars in Asia. There were peace demonstrations and race riots in cities and college campuses all over the country in my day. The Kent State Massacre hung like a dark cloud over my graduation. In your time you experienced a deadly attack on the US Capitol and Congress, black lives matter demonstrations, and most recently pro-democracy demonstrations against authoritarianism and more. Back in the day, we had the AIDS panic. The covid 19 pandemic will be the thing you and I will want to forget but will probably always remember. It came down on all of us like a surreal ton of bricks: stay-at-home loneliness, the cancellations of sports and school traditions like homecoming and prom, stay-at-home learning, and the masks. Suddenly we have the threat of the hantavirus. With covid there was no cure and then there was. With hantavirus there is no cure. This morning’s news reported that there are now 41 suspected cases of hantavirus in the US. Let us hope there will be a cure soon.
The US had 20 school shootings in 2016, but most recently the annual numbers are in the hundreds would make Stephen King blush. Maybe you’ll be instrumental in finding a cure for that.
I always recommended grads consider doing something that helps other people. Look around, those gigs are everywhere.
Share the good things you know with others, particularly children. If and when you are a parent, I advise that you don’t complain too much about your little ones. Enjoy every moment. Ask the parents and grandparents here today, and I am sure they’ll agree that it will seem like two months from now and those same little ones will be calling you from Colorado for money. True story.
A wise friend of mine once told me to relax, politics is a pendulum. I encourage you to get the facts (I recommend Politifact, Fact Check.org, Reuters, and AP) and vote. It is a fact that if you don’t vote you don’t count. Remember change starts with you. You are on the cusp of living your life. It’s your turn to pick up the ball and do something to make this country and planet a better place for you and those who come after.
I always advise that people keep a journal – add stories, add ideas you might have, add big and little happenings, record births and passings, who said what, who got what and how big deer camp stories, life highlights and ideas for yourself – it’s not really a diary, but this is who you are or who you were anyway. I add obituary cards – as you get more chronologically challenged you get too many of them. Anyway, your children will love it.
Never allow your happiness to be totally dependent on someone else being happy. Love your loved ones, but your happiness is your responsibility.
I just turned 74. My experience has been that the years vaporize into memories too fast, and that to hate, be angry or unhappy or unforgiving and closed to others for the limited mortal coil we get allotted is at best a waste when you can decide otherwise.
Finally, you have time, but put this nugget in the back of your mind: you have learned about what so many have done for others that are remembered in history. Think about what future generations will remember you for.
Peace.
Greg Koelker is a lifelong resident of the Driftless region along the Mississippi River. He is the acclaimed author of the “Grouse Hollow Journal,” a column that celebrates rural life, nature, family heritage, and the traditions that bind communities together. While technically focused on the “outdoors,” his writing often explores broader themes of community values and education.
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